And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

There's some sort of flashback meme-thing going on, and though I"m not usually a joiner, I had to participate.

My song? "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something.

I was 18 in 1995, and that fall started college at Syracuse University. I was living in Boland, on floor 8 which was the "quiet lifestyle" girls floor; the floors alternated, so Boland 7 was the guys' quite lifestyle. Needless to say 7 & 8 hung out together a lot, because well, we just did.

On Boland 7 was a guy named Steve. I thought he was cute and after a few weeks we were a couple (mind you, I did not dte iin high school. high school s*cked. college, as far as guys went, wasn't much better). Everything went along great until around Thanksgiving. I went home to Houston and we talked a few times on the phone, and when I went back he wanted to not be exclusive anymore, ie he wanted to break up. I'll tell you that part in a little bit. I didn't understand, and was admittedly heartbroken, but he obviously didn't seem to care as per usual. I decided that if I was going to cry, which I did, I was not crying anywhere where anyone could see -- so that left my dorm room when my roommate was out and the shower.

He, for some reason, felt bad and again asked me out. Like a moron (I wish I could slap my 18-year old self now), I agreed to go out to a movie with him, but I was paying for my stuff -- ticket, drink, etc. I was not letting him pay for anything, 'cause I didn't consider it a date. After the movie, we went back to Boland and his roommate was in the room, so I thought I was safe to be in his room. Steve apparently had OTHER ideas about safety. He kissed me and one thing led to another and the next thing I knew I was being held down on his bed, one of his hands holding my wrists above my head, the other trying to undo my jeans. I don't remember a whole heck of a lot, I know I did say 'NO," but I know I had locked my legs (before I knew to do that, which I learned about in self-defense class later), and that pissed him off. He had to let go of my hands to do anything with my pants, and that was when I got him off of me and rand back to my room upstairs. Steve's roommate -- was in the room the whole time.

I never was alone with him again. I was never anywhere close to him without at least 4 people around.

My "friends" on my floor all decided that Steve obviously couldn't have done that, so I lost all my friends on my floor over this. I still had some friends on Boland 7, Geoff comes to mind, so when push came to shove I would hang out with them in one of the lounges.

Christmas and finals came, and I had the flu. Steve still gave me my Christmas gift -- a pair of gold heart earrings. I still have them, and have never worn them. Over Christmas break, I talked to my friend Brian from high school, whom I had gone to homecoming and prom with my senior year. He told me he only went with me because he felt sorry for me.

I had gone from attempted-rape to broken hearted as well.

I returned for the Spring semester and went and confronted Steve. Told him he was an a**hole. Told his RA, who did nothing, much to my disappointment.

Later we had a student government "bonding session" and my friend Meaghan had to go upstairs to her room for something. When she came back down, she was surprised to see me there because she swore she had just seen me in the Boland 6 bathroom. Turns out the girl was Reana, and she was my look-alike. Reana and Steve had dated all throughout high school, and had never broken up. Meaning he cheated on her with me, or however you wanted to classify it.

When I saw her later, it was like looking into a mirror.

Steve was a b*stard. I still saw him throughout college. I never told anyone what happened until 2000, when Geoff asked me and I came clean. I never saw anyone to help me get over what happened. As a music lover, I can tell you that I played TONS of Alanis over this, but I played Deep Blue Something's "Halo" almost more, though that wasn't a hit and never reached radio. This song did, and too this day I cannot listen to it, 'cause it makes me think of Steve.

Breakfast at Tiffany's, by Deep Blue Something.

You'll say, we've got nothing in common,
No common ground to start from,
And we're falling apart,
You'll say, the world has come between us,
Our lives have come between us,
Still I know you just don't care.

And I said, "What about 'Breakfast at Tiffany's?'"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think, we both kind of liked it."
And I said, "Well that's, the one thing we've got."

I see you, the only one who knew me,
And now your eyes see through me,
I guess I was wrong,
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over,
When so much is left undone.

(chorus)

You'll say, that we've got nothin in common,
No common ground to start from,
And we're falling apart,
You'll say the world has come between us,
Our lives have come between us,
Still I know you just don't care.

(chorus)

Oooooo

And I said, "What about 'Breakfast at Tiffany's?'"
She said, "I think I, remember that film,
And, as I recall, I think, we both kind of liked it,"
And I said, "Well that's, the one thing we got."

And I said, "What about 'Breakfast at Tiffany's?'"
She said, "I think I, remember that film,
And, as I recall, I think, we both kind of liked it,"
And I said, "Well that's, the one thing we got."

stashbuster to do list --

By March 31

Swallowtail Shawl (Alpaca w/ a twist)

By April 15

Halfobi (Cascade 220)

By TNNA

Nothin’ But a T-Shirt (cotton-ease)

By September 15

CPH (Kathamandu Aran)

By October 1

Peppermint Swirl (Jaeger Fleece)

By November 15

Tree jacket (rip and start over on US 9 – Wool of the Andes)

By December 31

Minimalist Cardigan (Wool of the Andes)

By December 31

Killkenney Capelet (fisherman’s wool)

Childish fun w/ Google

1. Heather wants to grab his booty (depends on who the lucky guy is)
2. Heather wants another baby (damn, did I miss the first one? are the drugs that good?)
3. Heather wants to disappear (somedays)
4. Heather wants “hush money” (what are you silencing me for?)
5. Heather wants love (definitely)
6. Heather wants to be my friend (only if you're not thoughtless-jerk-carboy. if you are, sorry)
7. Heather wants to fall in love (absolutely)
8. Heather wants a new job (not really, like the one I got, but thanks)
9. Heather wants people to think she’s nice (aren't I? I'm confused)
10. Heather wants to marry (someday)



11. Heather needs men . . . now! (didn't know it was that obvious)
12. Heather needs two therapists (naw, I think one would suffice)
13. Heather needs Gatorade (not unless I have the flu I don')
14. Heather needs childhood (come to think of it, recess and naptime would be nice . . .)
15. Heather needs something more to be satisfied (true)
16. Heather needs to grow-up (nope, good the way I am)
17. Heather needs a date (definitely)
18. Heather needs a rest (on occasion. like every Monday)
19. Heather needs to chill (sure, why not?)
20. Heather needs water on the moors in Spring to yield a big crop in August (not a fraking clue)

Mecca and not so much

Last Saturday (Feb. 16), Lisa, Steph, Pam, Anne and I all traveled down to Webs. Seriously? Words cannot do this store justice. They have a space-time-warp thingy going on. For reals -- like 2.5-3 hours we lost amidst the yarny-fibery-wooly goodness.

First though, we went to Northampton wools. That experience? Not so much the mecca. I did buy 2 hanks of Manos Silk Blend. And was promptly corrected by little miss "I'm wearing the wrong size AE hoodie, but I run the store, so my word is GOD."

FYI (just so she doesn't threaten to like sit on you or something) -- it's pronouced mah-nos. NOT man-os, which I slipped on. And was soundly thwacked upside the head by Little Miss AE.

Other than that, Northampton wools reminded me A LOT, way too much actually, of Portsmouth's Yarn Basket. Kind of cramped, occasionally rude and if you have to dig that much for a deal/treasure, it ain't worth it honey.

I'm still high off the fumes from Webs though.

Sorry. Got sidetracked. Real posting will resume next time.

moar humorous pics


moar humorous pics


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A Very Merry Unbirthday to you

Which Alice in Wonderland character are YOU? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Alice You scored Alice! You are kind-hearted and curious and give yourself very good advice, but seldom follow it, which leads you into trouble. You always try to be courteous and polite, but you become cross when people speak in nonsense to you and scold them sharply. Alice 83% Walrus 83% Carpenter 83% Queen of Hearts 75% Oyster 75% A Playing Card 75% Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum 67% Flamingo 67% Mad Hatter 67% March Hare 67% Cheshire Cat 67% Caterpillar 58% The White Rabbit 50% The Dormouse 50%

storm

how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright

I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I see you
the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright

and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything's alright